Sunday, May 28, 2006

haiz... it's a boring sun man...
haha! but my gang of friends mix religion de oh... came to harp on our projects!!! haha! n we actually finish it on sun when the presentation is on monday? haha crappers n laggers rite my gang... haha.. anywae... it's a relieve to actually finish the last of the continuous project.. wk 12 n 15 more coming up man!!! haiz.. substance abuse n research methods... hgaiz.. i hope it wk out well... zZzZzz... *snore*

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

haha! i gt a new hairstyle... look at mi... i look far fatter den usual.. haha.. that's a gd sign though... i good motivation to make mi eat more... this is when i was at hm b4 gg out wif janice, ching n karen.. my tkd pals.. it's been like so long since i last seen them... we went PS GV to watch poseidon... seriously.. i don't feel that it is realli nice.. but i tot i should haf watched 'ova the hedge' instead.. haha! so it was rated by yeetung tt it is realli funny... so i'll watch it wif kapi n awin soon... soon... after the exams i suppose... oh ya... after poseidon, we went on to take pics... karen left 1st coz she needed to go out wif i forot hu.. ching was so angry on the fone so poor janice n i had to do something. in the end we took neoprints... look at our weird faces... but i don't look fat in these pics.. haiz... i was so tired when i reached hm.. but i watch i', not stupid2 VCD... haha...quite funny.. 'lame' chop... crap ppl... but after a poseidon, i'm not stupid is kinda refreshing n funny though... that's mi... so vain... tt's y as compared to the 1st pic.. this one gt makeup.. haha.. germain is always such a vainie...but it'll be back to school days soon! look at the gal in the bg... so rude... the leg placed so high... weird ppl...

Monday, May 22, 2006

recently nothing much to do..
got new fone... TAKE pics!!! haha!
see my pedicure? nice rite? but my feet n toes nt quite nice...
yee tung n mi
jothi n mi
crazy bro...
kapisha awin n mi...

many say candle refers to the lights years we haf..
the light years refers to the teenages years i suppose...
many say our light years are the most appauling years in life...
i guess as much as well...
but to me, thing may s well be gone...
life is meaningless as it seems...
it's not as fulfilling as those who haf uneducated fams...
educating fams tend to be more over protective in all areas...
i felt worthless whenever they values are diff frm mi...
haiz.. that's life... am i rude? most prob i talk tt way... sensitive are u...

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

how is my life now you ask...
i dunno man i say...
we've been realli quiet nowadays...
it's a barrier i say...
i realli gt a phobia of wad i say nowadays...

i hate it when she challenges ppl...
she always think she is super clever...
but anyway, i tink tt she is realli bitchy lo...
she's like so good at kissing ppl's butt..
'no backbone' (chinese saying for: angkat)
i dislike this kinda ppl... SUCKX!

i swear tt:
mi, germain sze will not be afraid of the person i'm tokin abt, fullstop!

Monday, May 15, 2006

DiRtY BBQ PaRtY.. haha!
Jas n i were facilitators...

preparation...i realli dunno y i looked so tired...
how much jelly i haf in my mouth man...finding...

Days have past...hours swift by...
i still felt bad...
Not because of exams or school...
But because of the stuffs tt happened...
it lingers in my mind n refused to leave...
it hurts badly, it kills my thoughts...
i tried doing stuffs but i can't concentrate...
it so sickening...
i can't tel u wad i haven get out...
sth stuck inside...
most commonly described as fear....
but this kinda fear is diff...
its some mixed tequila...
lime sour cringes as i face her...
sweet peach when i gt some out...
fiery hot when she blabs abt mi n more mi...
high n mighty she thinks...
but after effect of tequila i felt...

~sober n helpless~
tt's is the best way i can describe...but nt a 100% accurate..
but it feels sth lyk tt...

***when will my nx 'up' come??? haiz...~~~~~

Friday, May 12, 2006

they heard it..
you heard it... maybe not... i don't know...
but i dunno wad's going on in my brain?
'forgive and forget' simple as it seems,
trust me, it's not...

i tried so hard...
to face it is hard..
i did it in the end..
but lost terribly...

i felt that it was pointless to tok abt it, argue abt it, stand up for it..
though i regretted afterwards...
the respect and trust she gain from mi had just blew themself apart...
they flew and i suppose it is hard for mi to accept it back...
it's a torture though it may seem flawless on the outside...
'maturity' is a jargon afterall...
coz nobody understands it...
older is never wiser as empty talk spouts everywhere...
i'm lost.. in a word puzzle... with:
- wise
- matured
- pain
- agony
- hurt
- confused
surrounding me... i identified but unable to flag it away...
take me away somebody...
please please...

** tkns to lovelymehmeh for your lil' help...
it seems betta... but somehow... it's hard to eliminate...
let time make it's pace... n hopely it'll soon be gone...

Thursday, May 11, 2006

i don't wanna tok abt it..
i feel sick, i feel lyk an idiot..
i realli do.. i felt hurt...
who cares... i felt lyk someone has stabbed mi a thousand times...
FUCK!!!

i saw her 2dae..
was am i tokin? i'll see her everydae!
haiz... it juz can't seem fine..
i can't go on acting i'm fine...
i don't understand wad the hell!!!
i can't cry...
i can't speak...
i can't express...
i hate to command...
i hate to take charged...
i hate everyting tt is happening now...
i wanna be a mute...
i wanna be deaf...
i dun wanna haf feelings...
coz it hurts terribly...
i quit...
i can't face it...
i'm sick... i'll be dead soon..

....*peace out*.... ~RIP~

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

my life is a sand storm...
it whirls and never stops...
it hurts terribly...
but no one can stop it...

my life is a thunder storm...
waves crashes and wind blew...
it hits directly to the heart,
penetrates and stays...

my life is sunny,
but it onli last for a min or 2...
lightning strikes and rain pours...
everyting nv fails to hurt me...

why is life is miserable?

james blunt says:
"my life is brillant, my life is pure"

mine is not... trust me...

*names nt quoted*

She told the whole world except me...
She spoke sth nt within me...
i didn't label n didn't take words of others...
but i was blamed for those...
i'm not commited... i apologised...
but i'm tired of tis life...
coz in charge is not my title...
i'm hurt i'm tired i'm sick...
please release me.. please please..
i beg you...
i didn't like it... i told n everyting seems 'normal'...
it wasn't solved actually...
soon cracks started to appear...
suggesting an earthquake...
as i expected, it was true, realli true..
i couldn't take it anymore... tears started bursting out...
but i was ranted coz of a sudden outta control...
i do not noe why but acceptance is the best way out...
if he didn't say anyting...
i suppose i wud haf juz kept quiet...
when in the end i spouted out everyting,
my ans were nv found...
if you ask mi how i felt?
betta? erm... sad to say, superficially...
it is difficult, realli diff for me to say anyting...
i do nt wan the responsibility...please?
i juz wanted them to voice their thoughts..
nods were everywhere...
i suppose it's a yes, but it wasn't..
how am i suppose to noe?
save me man... i'm not callin the shots...

***i'm jus an idiot, a big fucking idiot... i've no respect... AT ALL...

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

haha!
bbq on sat was realli fun! the freshies were great! haha! remember jas? funny woman! haha! i hope the games turn out well.. although the no, of people were a lil' lesser than wad we expected.. but the turn out was betta den last yr i suppose.. haha! i gt a realli bad sunburn!!!! haiz...

haiz...
it's another boring day man... lecs, tuits n more boring stuffs.. haiz... sianx...
this however got mi wondering wad the hell i want in life, y izzit tt everything i do is always lyk so boring, so sickening, so un-satisfying? is it because i didn't put in my all in doing stuffs or izzit tt i lack confidence or rather hate doing the same stuffs, so unchangelling... rite? there's tis somebody whom i realli (i can't say dislike) but rather, irrtated by... she say spout stuffs tt she didn't even attempt to bring up or even attempt... i'm rather tired of being in charged. i'm not perfect, i gt my flaws... you might not like my idea or ways of doing things, but this is me! how the fuck will i know you are not in favour of this idea if you dun bring it up... fuck off man! i'm sick and tired of this oredy... i will not know how to let you guys know the pain of the asshole to compile something, write a script and be in charged of this that everything, i've gt cca, my friends, my family, sch stuffs.. so many tings, i gotta plan my stuffs n gt blamed for tt? FUCK!!! the world is 360degress and now it's beginning to close on me... let me go... i'm claustrophobic!

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

haha! i don't know whether u remember this but this is a mimick version of sir peter and sir vincent... haha! u guys noe wad i mean hor jas?