Tuesday, April 28, 2009
mood rate: ****_yea!! it's post nite...
sarageny say i'm still alert..
so germain's GCS score is 15!!!!
haha...
last nite was one of the okie nites..
although darling ah po passed away...
but it wasn't a busy nite..
started off the usual routine...
seeing gomati coping well..
even better den tt teddy bear...
after report, i/v, meds...
i startd my nonsense cam whoring..
come to tink of it...
eversince polydaze..
it's been such a long long time i didn't camwhore...
haha~
after the 2plus mark...
my stomach showed no mercy..
so in the end..
i had to satisfy it..
off to 7 eleven for milk tea AND spicy chicken bun..
no more muffin ernies!!!
haha~
n towards dawn,
i was so so so so so pissed off by the on cal dr...
first she gt so mad coz i called her to r/v my ? GI bld pt..
wth?
the way she say can ridiculous!!!
it goes lyk this:
mi: hello dr ****, i'm calling from wd ** RE: bed ***
her: ya!!! (sounded irritated)
mi: erm.. u r/v the scans n wated insertion of NGT but asp is 40mls of fresh bld.
her: TRAUMATISE IZZIT?
mi: dun tink so, it's 40mls, how can b traumatised?
her: HE STRUGGLE WHEN U INSERT NT?
mi(clearly irritated): OF COURSE LAH! HU DUN STRUGGLE ONE?!!!!!
her: A LOT AR?!!!
mi: 40MLS!!!!!!!!!!
her: I'M TOKING ABT THE STRUGGLING!!!!!!!!!!!!
mi: (ARGH!!!!!!) A LIL BIT LAH!!!!
SO SO SO SO PISSED!!! nvm.. cannot b bothered...
anyways:::
to ah po:
everytime when i see u lying on the bed 24/7
i felt helpless...
i knew even though the med wud make u feel better..
but eventually,
u wud somehow still feel the pain...
u wud always put up a strong front...
even when u knew u had a terminal illness..
u retrospectively appreciate the surroundings and people...
u always gif us encouragement..
the simple thank you, outta demanding tings u ask for is the sweetest and warmest..
it nv fails to brighten my day...
even when i approached u n ask if u were ok..
u wud smile n say i'm a caring towards old ppl..
i knew u din feel well..
i knew u were breathless..
but u din wanna say...
ah po...
may u rest in peace..
Being so alone,
i felt that ah po was very very blessed if v v v closed knited family...
mi?
i'm spending my life working and wif hubby onli..
tt's my life..
weekly nites?
the least i wanted was to be misunderstood by my pal...
i'm so so so tired n drained...
everyting surrounding mi is nursing..
i noe i lurve this challenging job..
but it's too draining oredy..
pushing the max outta mi...
i din mean to say mean tings n stuffs lyk tt..
being with the patients oredy let mi understand the meaning of life...
the irritating demands, the unexpected collapse..
the mumbling and millions of apologies...
even though u noe tt it was ur fault, u still had to apologise..
in the end..
i grew so used to it till the extend tt i could make a joke outta it!
or rather..
i've been together wif my collegues in this kinda env for so long tt it became natural...
the harsh words r no longer harmful...
we became stronger..
but the humanity decreases...
i'm realli realli sry if i hurt u..
i realli din mean to say hurtful tings...
maybe i become so used to this stupid shit i go thru almost everyday..
i become immuned...
please do nt tk wad i say personally..
i dun haf the intention to hurt any1..
or rather..
after a hard day of work...
all i want is to haf my frens n love ones surrounding mi..
juz slacking and enjoy the limited time i haf...
my apologies...
